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Home / Latest News / Kath, Kate and swimming lessons: These long holidays give me too much time to reflect

Kath, Kate and swimming lessons: These long holidays give me too much time to reflect

Some small things this week has taught me… Easter holidays are too long. April is a windy month meaning it really is very easy to  lock yourself out of the house by putting the  key on the hall bench then going out to the car to get some things… and the children.

Cutting a fringe is instantly regretted.

Trains are delayed when you are early and  on time when you are a tiny, tiny, tiny bit late.

When you need to write your column on the train, it will be packed, the man next to you will snore and smell of sweat and there  will be no elbow room so pressing return will  get you a shove from the aisle and a  control-alt-delete will wake up old snoozy chops.

Sorry, sorry, do go back to sleep and did  you know there is a bogey in your nose?

You didn’t?

Okay. Sorry again. I shouldn’t have pointed  it out.

If you lose one of your son’s school reading  books and you think you’re smart by ordering a replacement in time for school you will  discover that Daughter has taken the other  reading book out of his school bag and says ‘I  don’t know where I put it Mammy’ when  you’re about to leave the house for the first  day of term.

Horse racing is a dodgy sport. It is taken  very very seriously by horsey types who  forget that the majority of us choose our bets  on the basis of the horse’s name or whether  the jockey is wearing a cute outfit.

And now it’s allegedly less the sport of  kings and more the sport of doping after the Godolphin anabolic steroids scandal. Eleven  horses trained by Mahmood Al Zarooni have tested positive for anabolic steroids.

A lengthy ban no doubt awaits no matter how cute the costumes.

Zaha Hadid is still peeved that her bracelet (necklace?) design for Wales Opera House  didn’t get built all those 20-odd years ago. A  woman scorned and all that, even though she  went on to fantastic things and was named  Veuve Cliquot Businesswoman of the Year  just this week.

If you want a plumber to repair a leaking toilet you will need to ask at least four  plumbers who will all promise to come over.

And then cancel. And then promise. And then cancel. And then…

You really can run a marathon and look a million dollars. Well, if you’re Katherine  Jenkins
you can. I thought her ‘after’ picture  was her ‘before’ one. How amazing is she?

It reminded me exactly of how I looked  when I ran my first 10k for Kidney Research  in Cardiff… not.

As I stumbled into the Millennium Stadium  on a super hot day I spied my friend Jenny Johnson ahead of me.

Adrenalin kicked in and I decided to sprint  past her. I got half way around the stadium  when my body went on strike and I had to  throw up on the sainted grass.

To add insult to indigestion, Jenny patted my bottom as she sauntered past way ahead  of me.

Oh the shame.

Oh if only I’d been wearing sunglasses.

Not everyone abides by the common courtesy of repaying a round. You know who you are.

Ten drinks at £10 a pop and then I have to go and get Husb and me the next round.

I am too old to go to a nightclub although I was rather proud of the nightclub stamp and was delighted that it didn’t wash off for days.  Lord, I felt cool.

Reading my former colleague, Laura Kemp’s  book, Mums Like Us which is all about  mothers aiming to be good enough and not  mothers superior is not an acceptable excuse not to take Son to rugby and Daughter to church. In my defence Husb was in bed  dealing with hangover issues so neither of us  was good enough that day. (Book is great  though, I recommend).

Measles outbreak is scary and, in my view,  completely unnecessary. The idea that  children are at risk when there is a vaccine  against it beggars my belief.

Maybe I have an unhealthily trusting view  of the National Health Service. Or maybe I’m right and the vaccines are there to protect us.

It is possible to spend hundreds on a pair of perfectly ordinary looking blue court shoes.

Pregnant Kate Middleton chose a visit to an  inner city park to showcase her bump in a £1,000 dress and £350 shoes and Aspreys  button necklace.

There’s manners for you.

Primark is a formidable force but I  never realised it was part of Associated British Foods.

Weird eh?

Son starts school swimming  lessons and I am more  nervous than him even  though we spent a Kate Middleton type of  budget on a crash course in swimming for  him and Almost-Four-Year-Old. It was  prompted by memories of my own school  swimming lessons (very infrequent I must  say) when everyone else dived in and  powered through the water and I had to jump  in holding my nose and swim a leisurely breast stroke with my head sticking out of the  water.

Easter holidays are too long.

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