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OVER 14.5: AUS 131/2 (White 57* Bailey 60*)
AUSTRALIA WIN BY EIGHT WICKETS AND WIN THE SERIES
White clips Tredwell over mid-wicket, and although Lumb puts a heroic dive
in, there was a a faint whiff of martyrdom to it – he knew he wasn’t really
going to get close, but in this England team not trying is an even greater
sin than not succeeding. Two fours for Bailey, one through the covers and
one behind square, and it’s all over. Australia win with more than five
overs to spare.
OVER 14: AUS 118/2 (White 53* Bailey 52*)
Bailey gets to his fifty – off just 24 balls – with a deft late cut
for four. Next ball, he drills the ball straight back to Bopara – who drops
it! Brad Hodge gets up and sits back down again. Six years out of the team,
and he’s not even going to get a bat. Australia need 13 off six overs.
OVER 13: AUS 111/2 (White 51* Bailey 47*)
Tredwell goes wider on the crease. Bailey completely ignores him, and lifts
him over mid-on for six more. This is stunning stuff from Bailey, who
follows up with a single as Tredwell switches back around the wicket. The 50
stand came up in that over, as did White’s half-century, off 38
balls. Australia need 20 to win as Bopara waddles back into the attack.
OVER 12: AUS 100/2 (White 48* Bailey 39*)
Six more! That’s gone 105 metres! Dernbach serves it up on a length,
and Bailey hits it way, way, way over his head, into the Melbourne sky, and
it’s dropped in the crowd. Short from Dernbach, and Bailey cracks it over
mid-wicket for four. Short again – he’s nothing if not persistent, is our
Jade – and Bailey doesn’t middle it, but he still gets four for it. Mid-on
goes back onto the fence, but that’s going to be four more! In the slot, and
Bailey drives it through the covers, and beats the man! Dernbach’s two
opening overs, which went for twelve each, now begin to resemble a sort of
golden age of Dernbach, halcyon Dernbach, the Dernbach we will all remember
with a slightly wistful smile. Eighteen off that one, and Bailey has 39 at
better than two a ball.
OVER 11: AUS 82/2 (White 48* Bailey 21*)
Broad returns to predictable pantomime boos. And Bailey is dropped by
Buttler! Short of a length, top edge from Bailey, and Buttler can only parry
it over his head for four! Still, decent comeback from Broad. Just six from
the over. Australia need 49 from 54 balls, which would be a pretty tough ask
if Australia were England and England were Australia and 2014 were 1974.
Jon in Scotland writes: “There is no getting round it, the Aussies
are taking the mick with this team. In club cricket it would be classified
as a friendly side (ironic I know). You have a couple of youngsters, a
couple of the 1st team and a few old blokes brought along on the promise of
a post-match curry, no umpiring or scoring and a bowl. And they are still
going to hump an England team who are only missing KP from their first
choice selection.”
OVER 10: AUS 76/2 (White 47* Bailey 16*)
Australia have been better than England at virtually everything this winter,
but one area they’ve really stood out in the limited-overs stuff is in
milking singles. Four singles, and then Bopara manages to hurry one through,
and almost gets White playing on.
OVER 9: AUS 71/2 (White 44* Bailey 14*)
Four good balls from Tredwell, and then Bailey gets fed up, dances down the
track and lumps him over mid-on for six! England’s innings, remember,
featured a grand total of zero sixes. Next Bailey goes for a quick single,
Bopara fumbles, and they end up getting two. Bopara into the attack.
OVER 8: AUS 62/2 (White 43* Bailey 6*)
Bresnan continues, and there are eight off that over, as Bailey scampers a
couple of quick twos. Last ball, Bailey miscues it, but just manages to
clear mid-off. Australia need 69 off 72 balls.
OVER 7: AUS 54/2 (White 42* Bailey 0*)
Successful over for Tredwell, then, who drags himself level with Chris
Schofield on four T20 international wickets. His next target? Danny Briggs
and Andrew Flintoff, on five.
WICKET! Maxwell c Bresnan b Tredwell 2 (5) AUS 53/2
Maxwell steps right across and gives it the full agricultural mow, but
Bresnan’s on the rope at long leg! And it’s gone straight to him! Australia
looked as though they were perfectly happy to milk Tredwell for singles –
they only need a run a ball, after all – but Maxwell couldn’t help himself.
Bailey the new batsman.
OVER 6: AUS 50/1 (White 39* Maxwell 1*)
An escape for Maxwell! He tries to pull a shorter one, the ball gets big on
him, and his top edge safe, with Broad at mid on unable to paw back the
ground in time. Still, another very good over from Bresnan, and on comes
Tredwell for his first bowl of the series.
WICKET! Finch lbw b Bresnan 10 (11) AUS 48/1
Too high! That was certainly my instinct, but it’s been given! Finch never
quite got going – as unfair a judgment that is to make after only 10 balls –
and he was trapped on the crease there. Still, look at Hawkeye! No reviews
in T20, so Finch has to wear that one in the teeth.
OVER 5: AUS 48/0 (White 38* Finch 10*)
Slower ball from Dernbach – the ambassador’s special – but it’s too full, and
White clubs it back past him for four. Short and wide, and White cuts for
four more. Too wide again from Dernbach, and White can cut it down and over
backward point, and although Root tries awfully hard on the boundary, he
can’t cut it off. Dernbach’s second over is no worse than his first – it’s
gone for 12, and as he gathers his cap he and White share some angry words.
Oh come off it, Dernbach, you can’t sledge a guy when you’ve just bowled
like a turtle with a slower ball.
OVER 4: AUS 36/0 (White 26* Finch 10*)
Bresnan starts well – just one off his first four balls, as he finds that
perfect length between ‘Pulled Over Square Leg For Four’ and ‘Smacked Back
Over His Head For Six’. Just one off the over. If Sky were compiling a Top
10 Highlights Of THhe Tour Of Australia, that over would be a contender.
OVER 3: AUS 35/0 (White 25* Finch 10*)
That’s a better over from Broad, pinning Finch back in the crease and earning
another couple of dots. Finch bludgeons Broad off a length, straight down
the ground for four, and then pulls behind square for four more. England are
collecting dots like Nectar points here, but the only thing they’re
redeeming is pain.
OVER 2: AUS 25/0 (White 24* Finch 1*)
And White drives Dernbach’s first ball off the back foot for four. Another
dot, and then short from Dernbach and White pulls it firmly in front of
square for four more. The man on the fence was momentarily interested, but
the ball landed about five yards away from him. Short again – hoo hoo Jade,
you do surprise us – and he gets two more. A single off the edge brings
Finch onto strike for the first time – and he jabs a single down to third
man. At this stage of their innings, England were already about six for
eight and quietly blubbing.
OVER 1: AUS 13/0 (White 13* Finch 0*)
Broad begins with a dot ball. That already feels like the apogee of the
innings for England when White smacks the next ball over cover for four
before late cutting the next one deliciously past first slip for four more.
But wait! Another dot ball for Broad! What terrific sporting theatre this
is, ladies and gentlemen. You just don’t know whether the next ball’s going
to be a four or a dot. The next ball’s a four, Broad dropping short and
White hooking it behind square. And a single to finish the over. Still those
two dot balls will encourage Broad, taking the positives, kicking on, going
forward, and so on. Who’s going to bowl the second over? It’s
broken-Action-Man-figurine Jade Dernbach.
10.25 If anything, England went too early. The time to rebuild was
after Wright went for none. Instead, Hales continued to fling the bat at
everything, digging England deeper into trouble. The pitch was a little
slower than it was in Hobart, but no way is it a 130 pitch. As, I suspect,
the Australians are about to prove. Finch and White making their way to the
middle. Pray for England.
10.10 Right, I’m getting some breakfast. Talk amongst yourselves.
OVER 20: WICKET! Tredwell b Hazlewood 0 (1) ENG 130/9
Excellent yorker, too good for Tredwell by half. So England finish on 130, but
they did manage to smite 12 from the last over. Hazlewood finishes with
4/30, which is Australia’s fifth-best T20 bowling analysis of all time.
Broad finishes with 18 not out, equalling his best ever T20 international
score. A real captain’s knock, in every sense of the term.
WICKET! Bresnan b Hazlewood 18 (19) ENG 130/8
Broad heaves it over mid-on… just over the head of long-on, and lands just
inside the rope. The batsmen come back for three, and there’s almost a run
out at both ends! Both batsmen forced to put the dive in as bowler Hazlewood
hurls the ball to keeper Wade, but they’re both home. Bresnan then clubs a
half-volley back past the bowler for four. Thick outside edge for Broad, and
a brilliant stop on the rope from Maxwell saves a run. Now Bresnan tries the
Dilscoop – yes, readers, that’s what it’s come to – and is bowled.
OVER 19: ENG 118/7 (Bresnan 13* Broad 12*)
Three swings from Broad, three misses, and three dots. England still haven’t
scored a six this innings. Broad finally gets a single with an inside edge.
Bresnan gets another single. Anything to cheer you up? Yes. Here’s a video
compilation of animals chasing laser pens.
OVER 18: ENG 115/7 (Bresnan 12* Broad 10*)
Broad pulls Coulter-Nile for four. That’s his favourite shot, and so two men
out on the hook becomes three. Short again, and Broad gets a thick top-edge
down to third man. Bresnan pulls in front of square for two. And that’s a
rare heartening over for England. You never know – a 15-20 run over for
England, if they could somehow drag themselves up to 140 – we might not all
be here in vain.
Denise writes: “As a Pom now based in Sydney, I’ve been watching
the Big Bash seeing the English guys banging the Aussie bowlers all
over for the last two months. What’s happened now they have put on the red
shirt? Pressure of the depressing English tour?”
It’s a valid point. The mental degradation is a huge factor. There’s a pall of
sporting death hanging around the England dressing room at the moment. The
stench of failure. It settles like mist. It spreads like cholera. And for
all Ashley Giles many regal virtues, ‘lifting the pall of death’ is probably
not one of the key performance indicators he identified when he took over
the job.
OVER 17: ENG 105/7 (Bresnan 9* Broad 3*)
England bring up their century courtesy of four leg byes. Broad backs away,
Starc follows him, the ball clips Broad’s thigh, and Wade is wrong-footed.
Slower ball from Starc, and Broad carves it away for a single.
OVER 16: ENG 99/7 (Bresnan 8* Broad 2*)
Catch it! Bresnan skews it high into the air, but it lands short of the man
at long on. Broad gets a couple of singles, Bresnan misses out on a full
toss. This is painful. Worse than painful. Worse than embarrassing.
WICKET! Buttler lbw b Coulter-Nile 22 (27) ENG 96/7
That, unfortunately, was coming. Buttler’s looked horribly out of sorts in
the last few overs, he tries an ugly hew to a full, straight delivery from
Coulter-Nile, and gets smacked on the front pad mid-hew. The way things are
going, Australia look as though they’re going to finish this innings with
four slips and a gully and George Bailey sledging James Tredwell’s mother.
It’s not going to be pretty, at any rate.
OVER 15: ENG 96/6 (Buttler 22* Bresnan 7*)
James Muirhead has looked mightily impressive in these two games. He finishes
with a spell of 1/17, with more than half of his spell being dot balls. Like
all the best Australian spinners, he puts as much overspin on the ball as
sidespin, and so gets some nice drift and a bit of deception. It’s late in
the day, but he may well have broken into Australia’s World T20 squad.
OVER 14: ENG 94/6 (Buttler 21* Bresnan 6*)
That’s a fine over from Hazlewood. Bresnan gets a single off the first ball
of the over, leaving Buttler five balls on strike. So, sweepstake time: how
many runs would you expect Jos Buttler to score off those five balls? If you
said “none”, come down to the front of the hall and collect your
money. Buttler swings and misses and miscues and a wide and then wafts at a
wide down the leg-side, but he just can’t seem to time it.
OVER 13: ENG 92/6 (Buttler 21* Bresnan 5*)
Bresnan starts by bunting the ball behind square for two. Then he slices it
into the same area, a better short, but a good stop on the rope keeps them
down to three. Time for Buttler to tee off here. Nurdling the ball around
with the tail isn’t going to win them the match, so he might as well.
WICKET! Bopara c Maxwell b Muirhead 6 (11) ENG 87/6
England need to fake an emergency and make their excuses here. A cat under
the floorboards, perhaps. Sorry, got to go. Here’s my gold card, get
yourself some tiramisu. Two balls after Bopara survives yet another third
umpire review, this time for a stumping off Muirhead, he sweeps the ball
straight to Glenn Maxwell at deep square leg.
OVER 12: ENG 86/5 (Buttler 21* Bopara 6*)
Buttler plays an incredibly powerful pull shot; there’s a man out on the
rope, but it’s beaten him. Eight off the over, and if these two can hang
around for a few overs, this match might not quite be gone…
Graeme Whittaker writes: “I’m afraid that I will have to leave
your excellent blog as I just can’t bear to watch another humiliation. Isn’t
there some legal and kind way that we can put our brave but hopeless boys
out of their misery?”
OVER 11: ENG 78/5 (Buttler 14* Bopara 5*)
Short from Cameron White, and Buttler seizes on it like a starved Doberman on
a lamb shank, heaving it away through mid-wicket for four. Now, then. Is
that a drop? Buttler cuts and gets a thick edge, and the ball bounces
off Wade’s gloves and away for a run. Harsh on Wade to call it a drop, but
sometimes those stick. Coulter-Nile returns.
OVER 10: ENG 70/5 (Buttler 8* Bopara 3*)
Four singles off the over. Mark Taylor reckons Morgan was unlucky to be run
out there. The bat was grounded over the line before bouncing up. “If
that’s the law,” Taylor says, “I think it’s unfair.”
OVER 9: ENG 66/5 (Buttler 6* Bopara 1*)
Three more singles off the remaining three balls of the over.
WICKET! Root run out (Maxwell/White) 18 (14) ENG 63/5
That’s an excellent bit of work from Glenn Maxwell, who pounces on the ball
at mid-wicket and somehow manages to fling it at the stumps in the same
movement. White gathers by the stumps and whips the bails off with Root
still about a foot short. Root was convinced there was a second run there,
but that’s what happens when things aren’t going for you. Sod’s Law? This
has been Sod’s Tour for England. Bopara in, and with more than 11 overs
left, Australia are one wicket away from the tail.
Ron Seale writes: “Embarassing or what? Were the selectors
thinking that if they continually pick the same team that they will
eventually do something right? This is appalling – it’s not even funny any
more.”
OVER 8: ENG 60/4 (Root 16* Buttler 1*)
Bailey brings on leg-spinner James Muirhead for a cheap over. Four singles
and a wide. Now Cameron White is going to bowl. Cameron White. Is Going. To
Bowl.
OVER 7: WICKET! Morgan run out (Hodge) 6 (3) ENG 55/4
Oh, this is pretty bad. Morgan reverse sweeps for four, and after a few more
singles, Root chops the ball into the covers. Hodge picks up and hurls the
ball in quickly, and it hits the stumps on the bounce! Hodge thinks Morgan’s
made it, but Wade’s convinced he hasn’t. And he hasn’t! Morgan put the dive
in, but his bat bounced up off the pitch, and although his glove was in
contact with the ground, he didn’t get the glove in quick enough! England:
can’t bat, can’t bowl, can’t field, can’t… dive.
OVER 6: ENG 48/3 (Root 14* Morgan 0*)
Root turns the ball off his pads for two runs, before cutting through
backward point for four. If England are playing a 10-over game, they’re
pretty well set here.
WICKET! Hales c Starc b Hazlewood 16 (13) ENG 42/3
Huge swing from Hales, huge outside edge, Starc staggers under it on the
third man boundary, and the ‘best T20 batsman in the world’ perishes!
OVER 5: ENG 38/2 (Hales 12* Root 8*)
Root cracks his first two balls through the off-side for four! Too wide from
Starc, and Root manages to pick the gap each time. Eight off the over, but
once again England forced to rebuild after early wickets.
WICKET! Wright c Hodge b Starc 0 (2)
Wright has leathered it straight to cover! Brilliant catch by Hodge, tumbling
forward and taking it a couple of inches off the turf. Wright must be
feeling absolutely nauseous. I did that in a junior game once. At least
Wright doesn’t walk up to Hodge and say “How’d you catch that, you’re
completely crap” in a whiny teenage voice, which makes him a better
sport than me.
OVER 4: ENG 30/1 (Hales 12* Wright 0*)
Short again from Hazlewood, and Hales cracks it over mid-wicket for four!
There’s a man on the leg-side boundary, but even though he only had about 20
yards to go to his left, he didn’t get anywhere near it. Hales works it into
the leg-side for two more, but then plays out two dot balls.
WICKET! Lumb c Coulter-Nile b Hazlewood 18 (14) ENG 24/1
Once again Michael Lumb makes a pretty double-figure score before getting
out. Hazlewood dropped just a little short, Lumb top-edged his pull straight
into the air, and it was a simple catch for Coulter-Nile at mid-on. Wright
the new man.
OVER 3: ENG 24/0 (Hales 6* Lumb 18*)
Hales slices it to Maxwell at backward point, who drops it! That was a
pretty poor bit of cricket from Maxwell, really. That was about as easy as
they come at backward point – fast, but it went straight to him, he didn’t
have to move. It’s a good over from Starc, though: Hales struggling to get
going, although he does heave the last ball of the over through mid-wicket
for four. Earlier today, they unveiled a statue of Neil Harvey at the MCG. A
lovely gesture, and not a bad likeness, either, although you really know the
Grim Reaper must be approaching when you see people making statues of you.
OVER 2: ENG 18/0 (Hales 1* Lumb 17*)
Coulter-Nile trying to cramp Lumb for room, and gets three dot balls. But the
next one is loose, and Lumb cuts it high over point for four! The next one’s
only slightly short, but Lumb pulls it off a length for four more! Good
start by England here. The women’s meanwhile, lost by seven wickets earlier
in the day. England only made 98/6 off their 20 overs – a proper under-11s
score, that – and Australia never looked remotely troubled. Here’s Mitchell
Starc.
OVER 1: ENG 10/0 (Hales 1* Lumb 9*)
This is what it’s come to, then. Just when you thought England’s indignities
might be drawing to a close, Brad Hodge takes the new ball. Hales taps a
single off the first ball of the over, before Lumb gets down on one knee and
sweeps straight to square leg. The next one’s filthy and short, though, and
Lumb can simply slash it through point for the first boundary of the day.
Another sweep, this time, behind square, and Lumb’s got it through the inner
ring. Four more.
08.35 Brad Hodge – yes, Brad Hodge – is going to open the bowling.
Hales on strike.
Here’s an email from Peter Rowntree: “A 13-run loss in the last
T20 doesn’t sound much, but if we are honest an understrength Australian
team were in control from when our top order were dismissed cheaply, and the
margin in fact flattered England in the end thanks to Ravi. Like you I hold
that what is wrong with the England ODI team and T20 team is less profound
than the Test Team, but having a scary team – who’s kidding. But then could
it be made into a scary team? A big step forward would certainly be to have
Steve Finn back and bowling like his old self alongside StuBro, and in
particular to have him bowling at the death.
“Somewhere before long both our ODI side and T20 sides need to find space
for Dave Willey at number 7. His cricketing CV in 2013 read like nobody
else’s since the time of Sir Ian. Fastest 50 in any cricket format (19 balls
in the T20 final), 4-9 in 4 overs (including a hat-trick in the same game).
Just about the meanest T20 spell ever delivered. 167 v Warwickshire in
Northants’ last 40-over game. 81 v Glamorgan in the last games of the County
Chamionship including 6 sixes and the fastest County Championship 50. Now a
batting line-up of KP, Morgs, Buttler and Willey would read like a scary
team.”
08.30 Hello everyone, and thanks for logging on. I’m going to stick my
neck out here: I think Australia might sneak this one. It’s a safe enough
bet. And yet: England have won the toss. They’re going to bat. There’s
packed crowd in place at the G, with England needing to win to keep the
series alive.
One change for England: out goes Danny Briggs, and in comes James Tredwell.
Captain Stuart Broad becomes the first England player to get to 50 Twenty20
internationals, a feat that is surprisingly not commemorated with a guard of
honour and an honorary gold bat presented by Tom Graveney. Still no Ben
Stokes, by the way. Australia bring in Mitchell Starc for Moises Henriques
and Brad Hodge – the highest Twenty20 run-scorer of all time – for Dan
Christian.
Australia: AJ Finch, CL White, BJ Hodge, GJ Maxwell, GJ Bailey (c), CA
Lynn, MS Wade (w), MA Starc, NM Coulter-Nile, JR Hazlewood, JM Muirhead.
England: MJ Lumb, AD Hales, LJ Wright, JE Root, EJG Morgan, JC Buttler
(w), RS Bopara, TT Bresnan, SCJ Broad (c), JW Dernbach, JC Tredwell
