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The antics of boozy Welsh revellers will be exposed on a fly-on-the-wall documentary next week – focusing on the last train to Swansea on Saturday night.
A new Channel 5 series focusing on the First Great Western railway will feature what staff dub “the InterCity service from hell”.
With stops at Reading, Newport, Cardiff and Bridgend on its way to its final arrival in Swansea at just before midnight, viewers will follow former air hostess turned train manager Jody Edwards as she tries to keep order among the well-oiled passengers.
“You are literally on your own with what can be up to 400 people who are absolutely smashed, on a train which is travelling up to 100mph,” she says.
“It is a scary thought. You have to hope they stay in their seats and hope they don’t do anything stupid.”
Keeping order is no mean feat as the train arrives at three Welsh stops with the clock ticking towards throwing-out times at clubs across South Wales.
“I don’t look forward to this journey at all – I don’t think anybody does,” says Jody
The programme instantly shows two Welsh men triumphantly and repeatedly chanting into the camera “Train wars, train wars.”
Among the train manager’s memories of past Paddington-Swansea journeys are recollections of alcohol-fuelled indecent exposure – namely male passengers dropping their trousers claiming what lied beneath was their ticket.
She also enduring verbal abuse for more than three hours by women who turned out to be police officers.
She also recalls finding a man, travelling with his friend, hiding in a large rucksack to evade paying for a ticket.
Perhaps the most staggering Welsh addition to one of her work shifts was a man who, in Jody’s words: “Stripped naked, decided to have a poo and then throw it at the train.”
Jodie reveals the scariest thought of the journey that travels through the heart of South Wales.
She said:
The train rolls into Newport after the rather sedate pick-up at Reading, where we find two men chase the manager up the platform.
The jovial Newport locals sing, dance and clap her along the side of the train, which is met with momentary laughter by the manager. “If you can’t beat them, join them.”
The train is also held up by passengers who have held the door open for their drunk friends, who seem incapable or uninterested in boarding.
On to the great capital of Cardiff next, where “true to form trouble is kicking off”.
An intoxicated group, attempting to get home after their night out, is having a not-so-private argument on the platform edge by the door of the train. “This is the type of clientele we have do deal with – time to lock myself on the train with them”, says Jody.
The final stop is at Swansea, where Jody’s shift comes to an end, where it is all-too common that there will be a person or two semi-conscious, ready to sleep the night on their makeshift bed until the cleaner comes and attempts to wake them.
With passengers safely on their merry way onto the streets of Swansea, the cleaners must get on with the task of removing bottles, cans and other litter debris scattered all over the carriage.
With all of the action and drama over, it’s simply been a typical boozy night out for the people of South Wales.
‘The Railway: First Great Western’ will be broadcast on Thursday at 8pm, Channel 5.
